Lately I’ve been doing quite a bit of reflection on how I anticipate the future on both small and large scales. I remembered writing this as a final project this past spring at Calvin, and the message of it still resonates just as much with me now as it did when I first wrote it.

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Thursday, May 21

Welcome to the Real World

I had originally planned to write this essay regarding the etymology of the phrase “the real world,” but the longer I thought about it and noticed how the world is being impacted around us, it didn’t seem right to only discuss the negative side of “the real world.” Friends, I know that we’ve all been struggling in many different forms these past few months. Despite some unforeseen struggles this past month, I hope through this piece of writing I can take a look at how we view “the real world,” why we view it this way, and maybe some potential ways to look at it in a brighter way going forward. 

Where we are Now

To my fellow graduating classmates of Calvin University 2020:

Well, here we are. The end of our final semester at Calvin University. I can’t really say “at” Calvin, however. So here we are, mentally and spiritually present on Calvin’s campus despite not being bodily present. In between final exams and paper writing, I’ve been dipping my toes into the new reality of what graduation means to me going forward. I must admit, more than once in the last couple of weeks I’ve felt pangs of homesickness for Calvin already. But here I am, ready to go out in the real world and see what I can do. But, if I’m being honest, I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean? “The real world?” When I think of that phrase it seems like a broken record that I’ve heard over and over again all throughout my life. Am I there yet? We all live on the same earth, so are we there yet?

Welcome to the real world 

I’m sure all of you have heard the phrase “the real world” at least once or twice in your lifetime. I know I have, and I can think of instances I’ve heard this all the way back to my middle school days of duck-tailed T-shirts and silly bandz of every color (I know you know what I’m talking about). During my time at Calvin I’ve had two discussions involving “the real world” that have stuck with me: 

• “You can’t take sick days in the real world.” I won’t go into detail regarding who said this, but I’m sure I’m not the only person to have heard this phrase before. If this is to be taken literally…yikes. No sick days at all? I wonder if the person to say this to me is out and about doing their normal routines despite the world pandemic going on? 

• “We’re preparing you for the real world where you won’t be receiving any help.” Okay, so far I’ve covered that “the real world” won’t let me have a sick day, and once I’m out there, I’m out there alone. So far, so good. 

Raise your hand if either of these instances are giving you warm fuzzy feelings towards the “real world?” Yeah, probably not. When I was hearing the phrase “the real world” yet again in college it got me thinking, “what does the real world even mean?” I wanted to know if there was a definition, and if so, what it even was. To accomplish this task, I of course took to Google. Needless to say, I was not disappointed with the approximately 8,390,000,000 results found in 0.88 seconds (Thanks, Google!). Refraining from using the classic Wikipedia, I came across four definitions:

1. From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: “existing or occurring in reality: drawn from or drawing on actual events or situations.”

Okay, great. That seems like an okay definition I guess. I mean, I’d want to know who’s reality we’re talking about here, but overall it’s a pretty straightforward definition. What else is out there?

2. From Collinsdictionary.com: “If you talk about the ‘real world,’ you are referring to the world and life in general, in contrast to a particular person’s own life, experience, and ideas, which may seem untypical and unrealistic.” 

So I would consider this definition to be a little bit more objective than the previous one. Perhaps after two definitions I should be satisfied, but alas, my search continued and I found two more definitions I thought were worthwhile enough to share with all of you.

3. From the Cambridge Dictionary: “The set of situations most humans have to deal with in their lives, rather than what happens in stories, movies, etc.” We’re getting closer to how I’ve heard “the real world” being used as in my life. Life isn’t a fairytale, as we all know. 

4. And finally, from the Urban Dictionary: “An MTV “reality” show which presents a highly accurate portrayal of what “the real world” is “really” like. Upon college graduation, we’re all inevitably thrust into this scary “real world” where a music channel jets us off to an exotic locale and puts us up in an obscenely gorgeous house overlooking an equally obscenely gorgeous beach. And just like in the “real world” we get to experience this standard of living without paying a single dime in rent. I shudder with terror every time I view it because it serves as a constant and painful reminder of what I had to endure in my early 20’s when I was living in a Tuscan villa for free. But that which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. If you didn’t sense the heavy sarcasm in my “Real World” definition, then you most definitely are NOT living in the “Real World”.

Ah, thank you user “Aw yeah” for giving such an insightful definition of the “real world” in addition to your take on the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me,” and “Jessica Simpson” found in the rest of the Urban Dictionary caboodle. That would be nice though, right? Sign me up for “the real world” being as straightforward as having cash without a care. But sadly, I know it and you know it, that’s just not true. Bummer, perhaps, but let’s move on.

Hearing from you 

    I didn’t just look for definitions given by anonymous users from the internet. I took to social media and asked the question, “When you hear the phrase, ‘the real world,’ is it usually meant in a positive or negative way?” I wanted to get an idea of what my friends and family think of the phrase and how they’ve heard it. What do you think the most popular answer was? Actually, it surprised me, but the overwhelming response was negative. A few responders gave reasoning behind their answers as well:

• “Usually negative. Referring to when something bad happens or it’s time to grow up.”
• “Negative way. I feel like it is normally said when a kid experiences something bad.”
• “Negative. Often used in the phrase ‘welcome to the real world.’”

So, it appears that the generally agreed on definition of “the real world” paints a pretty bleak picture. Why? If indeed one is talking about the real world, why is there the need to potentially shoot down some dreams and rain on parades by saying, “hey kid, the world isn’t that great, in fact, it’s pretty shitty, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Good luck!” We expect the worst and build up walls to protect ourselves. What about when something good comes along? Is that still “the real world” too? 

    I get it. Many people at Calvin hold the view that everything, down to the molecule, is tainted by sin due to the fall of humanity. So it makes sense to build a hard outer shell used to brace ourselves against the turbulent real world, right? I wouldn’t be so sure. The last time I checked (which was pretty recently to make sure I have my facts right), the CRC believes that “just as God placed human beings ‘in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it’ (Gen. 2:15), so the lord calls us, the crown of his creation (Ps. 8:5), to be stewards of his natural world.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t get the Christian stewardship image when I read that and think of how many times a sarcastic adult nodding in some knowing way at my misfortune said, “yeah well, welcome to the real world.” So what can we do?

Moving forward

    I’d like to take a moment to read a quote by the author Salman Rushdie:

We all dream things into being; you imagine yourself having a child, and then you have a child. An inventor will think of something in his mind and then make it actual. So things are often passing from the imagined realm into the real world.

    When I read this quote, I think of a conversation I had with my dad. I was talking about the topic of “the real world” for my final project. At one point he said, “consciousness precedes being.” I had to write that comment down immediately. What struck me about it is the simplicity of the statement that held so much truth. In order to make something happen, you have to think about it first. Obviously, right? What if people began looking at “the real world” in a way that made people happy to be here? Instead of preparing our loved ones or acquaintances to get their hopes dashed and to fall on hard times, why don’t we look past that at least a little bit. 

    The world is a fallen place. Everyone knows that. Life reminds us enough without each other commenting on it every time something bad happens. If we’re trying to “dream things into being” and bring our thoughts to life, why don’t we use the phrase “the real world” as a way to mean our goal world? 

    In that same conversation, my dad told me that when he thinks of “the real world,” it means whatever is coming next in an individual’s life. So for me, when I was in high school, college was “the real world.” Now that I’m graduating college, finding a job or potential going off to graduate school is “the real world.” So we’ve already covered that we can think actions into being by acting them out. Now, if we are seeing “the real world” as the next chapter in our lives, how can we go forth from here? If “the real world” is always the next thing, why not make the next thing something to look forward to by doing good now?

    Where we can Go

I believe we can change the perception of “the real world” to mean something good by being the catalyst to that change. Friends, we have the best opportunity laid out before us to be Christ’s hands and feet. What does it look like to change the perception of “the real world?” Look at John Krasinski and his show “Some Good News” that he’s hosting during the pandemic. He spends the entire episode talking about the good in the world taking place during a time of such confusion and turmoil. I recently saw an article online that said that animal shelters are reporting boosts in foster applications because people who are stuck at home want to do something good for our furry friends and give them a life outside of the shelters for at least a little bit. Finally, I myself have seen some pretty amazing acts of grace and kindness people have shown to one another during this time. Students and professors have been working together to finish the semester strong. Towns have been cheering on their high school seniors and posting banners congratulating them throughout town. Calvin University has also given its seniors some love by sending graduation boxes to our doors, giving us an untraditional celebration for an untraditional semester. 

    I’ll leave you with the mission statement of Calvin University:

Calvin University equips students to think deeply, to act justly, and to live wholeheartedly as Christ’s agents of renewal in the world.

    We can be agents of renewal in the world to change the meaning of “the real world.” I wish you all the best of luck in your endeavors as Calvin alumni going forward. We are a unique class graduating in unprecedented times. I’m proud of the class of 2020, and I thank you for making my four years at Calvin College/University so memorable. 

You can only really invent something if you connect yourself to the real world – whatever that means. -Peter Lindbergh